Mental Unload

November 9, 2012
There is a big change coming up in my life that I cannot get off my mind.  I have been thinking about it constantly so as part of  processing it all, I feel like I just need to get it out of my head; so I am sharing it here.  I feel selfish saying this is a change in my life because truly it is not about me but more how I am affected by it.

Five years ago I met a tall, bubbly girl with curly hair, who's smile lit up the room.  We instantly became friends and I can say proudly that she is now my best friend.  We have laughed and cried our way through late nights on the couch, at bars and in each other's cubicles at work.  She is someone who truly gets me... the real me that I sometimes think I cannot be in fear of judgement from others.  We get each other's humor, can be honest about our shortcomings and tell horrible jokes that still make me laugh so hard I could pee my pants.  Simply, I am a better person because of our friendship.

(yeah, we always take pictures standing on the same side)

My friend is moving away next month and I have to say, I am 100% excited for this new chapter in her life, the love that has swept her off her feet and the opportunities on her horizon.  I by no means want anything buy the best for her and I know this chapter will bring nothing but that.  However... here it is... I am so incredibly sad she is leaving.

I feel like part of me is being taken away.  I am not going to get to see her five days a week, IM all day long and have her minutes away for Sunday dinners or random outings.  I know... we are still going to be friends and we are only five-or-so hours away but it still hurts just as much.  I am fearful that the next few weeks are going to be the last I see of her for months.  I am afraid I will be one of those friends who allows a friendship to weaken because of time and space.  

Friendship can withstand so much so I need to realize the silly thoughts in my head are more of an internal conversation than actuality.  However, I cannot pretend that these feelings are not real and something I need to work though.  Thank you for your patience with this post, I just needed a moment to have a mental unload. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh my Jaime Lynn Spears, where do I even begin? First of all I love all of these photos so much, you picked such fun memories spanning our friendship. Your stunning wedding, back in the day 4th of July lacrosse game, the most fun and successful Cook St. night EVER with Docksey breaking all the rules and taking dishes before they were even finished, and of course celebrating your birthday! If only we had taken a picture the day we met of you in your striped pants and polka dot shirt! Between all we've been through, the hours, days and months we've spent laughing, crying and simply sitting in silence can not, and will not be wavered with a few hour commute. I simply will not let it happen. The best news of all is, A) We both know why I'll have to come back at least once a month ;), and B) When we do come back, we can rent out your 2nd bedroom and play Kings Cup for hours on end!!!! I'll stock up on beer at Costco first. I love you desperately my love. Plus, you have at least 80% of my life packed away in your basement, so really, you can never get rid of me. LYLAS!!!


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